You love me especially different every time

You keep me on my feet happily excited

By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence

You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me

You school me, give me some things to think about

Ignite me, you invite me, you co-write me, you love me, you like me

You incite me to chorus, ooh

Ooh...

You love me especially different every time

You keep me on my feet happily excited

By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence

You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me

You school me, give me things to think about

Invite me, you ignite me, co-write me, you love me, you like me

Incite me to chorus

La, la, la...

Da, da, da...

Do, do, do...

You're different and special

You're different and special in every way imaginable

You love me from my hair follicles to my toenails

You got me feeling like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new

Oh when you touch me I just can't control it

When you touch me, I just can't hold it

The emotion inside of me, I can feel it

Ah...

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

~sara barellis - gravity~

Vicious Circle

You are back in my life...why?

Are we doing this because of "Love" or are we just comfortable at what we do.

Sometimes you read and dig into things you really wish you didnt. I wish i never found out how much you hated me....I wish I didnt dig so deep to relieve my curiosity...did i really need to know.

But now that I do. It hurts.

We've both blamed each other for so much...so why are we here? Why are we doing this again? I dont think we trust each other enough to be where we are. We both are constantly waiting for the next argument or problem or fight.

Do we even love each other anymore or are we just caring deeply.

Are friends and family have heard so much of it. That if we even made this the slightest public it would shatter and fall.

I find tears in my eye out of frustration and confusion. I dont think you really ever knew me. I just lead you to believe that ...this person is me.

What are we doing? Why are we doing this? Why am i setting my self up for pain and distress.

On each of our respectable sides, they are through with this chapter. Though we continue to reopen it over and over and over again. If this continues how will we continue. I know people shouldn't have an input to our lives and our relationship but REALLY! i think things are not normally this extreme. I think we are both setting our selves up...

I hate the feeling of uncertainty and yet I realize I'm feeling it more and more these days. Nothing in life is concrete but this ...this seems to be in complete rubble and shambles.

I cry at the possibilities of pain.

What am I doing?

Its only Tuesday!

So today I've been contemplating Graduate school.....Do I really want to go? 2 more years of school makes me sick to my stomach. No granted if I get this Grad Assistant position I will be more keen to doing Grad school since it will be free and paid. That will only happen if there is a miracle because those things are so competitive.

My current situation is extreme senoritis! I am in class at this present moment (a class I'm most likely failing) and I cant pay attention worth crap! Thats why I am updating my blog! ugh! life decisions! I really DISLIKE WITH A PASSION using my brain to ponder and think about life decisions. It really makes me some what nauseas.

This Saturday is the wake keeping for my Grandpa...What an event to look forward to this weekend. My aunt actually thought it would be smart to put my me and my sister's phone number on the information pamphlet. LADY DO YOU KNOW ME!!! no one will show up because I will straight watch the phone ring and everyone will be frustrated. PLUS this Saturday I have work from 9 am to 9pm....that ain't going to work.

Anyway... there will be more later...the teacher is wondering why Im typing so much when all he's doing is asking irrelevant questions. Ugh oh how I love school!.....SIKE! (hehehe my old school word!)

Longing and Life

Today makes a week since I lost my Grandfather... I dont know what kind of mood I'm in right now but everyone keeps asking if I'm ok, so I'm guessing it must show on my face.

I'm done with the Crying for now, but all I've been doing lately is wondering and wondering what is it all for? Why live and love and die? Why set your self up for it.

Then on the flip side. Why not? and why have i not?

Its almost like I am running on auto pilot. What am I doing with my life? Is this what I want to do forever? I'm stressing over things that I know may not make a difference 10 years from now...but what if one of the decisions I make do impact the future.

Im in the sad slump and can't seem to get out of it.

Some one said to me today that the 20's are your figuring it out phase of one's life. Well Im almost half way....hope the 2nd half I figure out more than I'm at right now.