Its only Tuesday!

So today I've been contemplating Graduate school.....Do I really want to go? 2 more years of school makes me sick to my stomach. No granted if I get this Grad Assistant position I will be more keen to doing Grad school since it will be free and paid. That will only happen if there is a miracle because those things are so competitive.

My current situation is extreme senoritis! I am in class at this present moment (a class I'm most likely failing) and I cant pay attention worth crap! Thats why I am updating my blog! ugh! life decisions! I really DISLIKE WITH A PASSION using my brain to ponder and think about life decisions. It really makes me some what nauseas.

This Saturday is the wake keeping for my Grandpa...What an event to look forward to this weekend. My aunt actually thought it would be smart to put my me and my sister's phone number on the information pamphlet. LADY DO YOU KNOW ME!!! no one will show up because I will straight watch the phone ring and everyone will be frustrated. PLUS this Saturday I have work from 9 am to 9pm....that ain't going to work.

Anyway... there will be more later...the teacher is wondering why Im typing so much when all he's doing is asking irrelevant questions. Ugh oh how I love school!.....SIKE! (hehehe my old school word!)

Longing and Life

Today makes a week since I lost my Grandfather... I dont know what kind of mood I'm in right now but everyone keeps asking if I'm ok, so I'm guessing it must show on my face.

I'm done with the Crying for now, but all I've been doing lately is wondering and wondering what is it all for? Why live and love and die? Why set your self up for it.

Then on the flip side. Why not? and why have i not?

Its almost like I am running on auto pilot. What am I doing with my life? Is this what I want to do forever? I'm stressing over things that I know may not make a difference 10 years from now...but what if one of the decisions I make do impact the future.

Im in the sad slump and can't seem to get out of it.

Some one said to me today that the 20's are your figuring it out phase of one's life. Well Im almost half way....hope the 2nd half I figure out more than I'm at right now.